Is that the term or am I way off?
I took a lazy day today.
More of a depressed day I think.
I realized I was in real bad shape when I looked down to see I was still under the covers of my bed, laptop turned to hulu all morning, a bag of Doritos, a Diet Mountian Dew, a whole thing of chocolates, a Valentine box of chocolates, a thing of Nutella (from a previous sad day, only used today to entertain Charlie, and yes, I'm so cheap I use food to entertain my baby, although Nutella isn't cheap, and this might just be the longest parenthetical rant I have ever done), my four year old still without a shirt for the day because they are all dirty, my baby hanging out with me on the bed in just a diaper because he ruined his last outfit, and to top it all off it was now time to finally put on a bra and go and pick up JJ from school.
Yes. That is how long I wallowed in bed this morning. I think I just needed a day to let myself be sad, or lonely, or bored, or whatever. That was today, and that is why I am now still up even though the boys went to bed at 8, Jake at 9 and here I sit. Bored. Alone. Still.
I'm going to get all my misses out and then get over it. Just skip ahead past this all. It's whiny. Real whiny.
I miss my house.
I miss AZ weather.
I miss normal stores.
I miss normal store hours.
I miss talking to grown ups.
I miss my nice nails.
I miss my clothes even though I thought I had very little.
I miss my family.
I miss Jake's family.
I miss having babysitters.
I miss my friends.
Lots of friends.
All my friends.
I don't want to miss Hunger Games. I thought all day about how I could hop in a car, "right this minute" and be back there for a little while. I could catch the movie with all my friends. Instead, I have to arrange sitters, pay for them, then drive 40 minutes to the movie, watch it, and then 40 minutes back. I'm thinking I'd rather just take the kids with me. I just wanna see it with friends. I WILL see it though, it looks SOOOOO good!
I miss the products I like to buy at stores.
I miss having a mailbox.
I miss have reception bars on my phone.
I miss my sewing machine. I never used it as much as I would have liked, but I have PLENTY of time here. I should have brought it.
I miss my stuff.
I miss my baby clothes for Charlie. He might not get to wear some of my favorites.
I miss a church being close.
I miss our old schedule.
I miss blogging.
I miss reading blogs.
I miss my youth.
I miss being skinny.
I miss our DVR.
I miss Jake's facial hair. He has a mustache currently, but that just doesn't do it for me.
I miss having more than one room to hang out in.
I miss my cookware.
I miss my Kitchen Aid. Soooo bad.
I miss drive thrus. Weird. I know.
On that note, I think I've hit a new low. I should stop myself. Okay, deep breath. I'll give myself a day, and I'll try to get back on here and recoup and write a more positive, non-Debbie-Downer post. There really is a lot to be happy and excited about and I am, just not today. Today wasn't my day. Tomorrow will be. In case you didn't get catch my drift. I miss you.
Oh Tiffany! I can totally relate! If you ever need a person to talk to please call me!! I know exactly how you feel. And sadly, I have no great advice. For me it didn't get better. We just have tolerated being away from home. I can say that my relationship with Chris is so much better. And it was great before, but now it's better. We have leaned on each other so much in this last year and while we haven't always agreed on everything, we are a stronger team no doubt!
ReplyDeleteAnd while there is no doubt that being together as a family trumps all, you have to have friends, balance, and a sense of wanting to be where you are. Say your prayers. Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy. There were days in this last year that I truly didn't believe that. But I know it now. I love you sweet friend! It's okay to cry. It really is.
I am so sorry, Tiffany. I remember hearing from a friend who moved and had to live with four kids, her hubby in the army, in a hotel till they found housing and it was tough...really really tough. I KNOW your friends feel the same way. Your happiness and smile are infectious. It's okay to have bad days...kind of that "opposition in all things". It makes the good days soooo nice. Just hang in there and know that you are loved by many...Most of all, your Heavenly Father. Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you just described my first 6 months in Vegas. We were away from family, insanely poor, and carbs/tv were my friends. You just had one moping day, I moped for 6 months. ;) I just want to give you a big hug, because it's sooo hard moving away from home, and I can't imagine the added pressures of military life. Hang in there! It will get better! The only advice I have is to serve, serve, serve your family/neighbors/anyone. Focusing on others was the only thing that got me out of my 6 month moping/depressed funk, and made me feel happy again.
ReplyDeleteIt must have been going around in the air or something because yesterday was truly gross. You're a good girl!!!
ReplyDeleteMy advice. It does get easier. Starting something new is never as easy as we want it to be.
ReplyDeleteI think I told you I grew up in a military town. It was always sad when friends would move away (or we moved away). But isn't it fun to have friends spread across the world. And thanks to e-mail and fb we don't have to snail mail it. Thank you technology!
{I was going to sing you a little song via the interwebs. it had to do with friends in lotsa places (instead of low places). But it didn't make sense. So scratch that. If you want I could bust out some Ren and Stimpy.}
I think it's completely okay to be sad. For a bit. Be sad and then move forward. I honestly think when people focus on all of the things they are missing, they miss all the good things in front of them. I had my fair share of those days. Still do. AND THAT IS OKAY!
I agree 100% with the serving comment. And I truly believe if you put yourself out there you will meet new people. Make new friends. Focus on good things you will soon love where you are. Serving is the quickest way to get there.
You are such a fun, loving and kind (did I mention fun!) person that it won't take long for people there to love you as much as we do here :)
End ramble........ NOW. xo
Tiff- I think you deserved your day :) Good luck with all of your transitions, I know you will do great!
ReplyDeleteI love you. Wish I could hug you... Hang on, one day at a time. Loves to you and your boys!!! We miss you too!
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